And The Poetry

Books that are hard to read

By Adila Apsara - 18:31

See, it's not the end of 2018 nor 2019, and I have a new post! I have been wanting to write my views about the last 3 (phenomenal) books that I read.

I had been an avid reader as a child and teenager. Sadly, this worn out slowly as I started living in Germany. I remember my first year in Germany trying to read two roman books in German and because I read them to help me expand my vocabulary, I had a really slow progress. Later on, I decided that I still favor books in English or in my native language and somehow over the years I stumbled upon these "classics" of which the name I have heard before either from my own acquaintances or from reading forums/internet. And for some reason, these books share the same tragic vibes that make it hard to finish the read and kind of make you feel empty in the aftermath.

So here you go, the books that are hard to read chronologically ordered based on the time I finished it. (click pictures for the source)

1. Looking For Alaska

(John Green)

Some years ago when I was still in high school I remember that my older sister used to collect John Green's books. And I remember that I never touch any of them, simply because I thought his books were too "mellow." My sister also owned this one book and she spoiled me the main point of the story, making me even less eager to actually open the book and read it by myself.

Some years later, I found myself in the basement of one good friend in winter, helping her unbox some old things. At once, she pulled off this book from the box. "Do you want to have it?" she asked me. I was kind of bored and so I said yes and brought it home with me.

If I'm correct, this was the first book of John Green, right? And for a first book, I think this could also be his best book ever. I cannot describe perfectly how this book made me feel, because, I was experiencing the similar kind of longing that Miles had for Alaska. It was so heartbreaking to read this book and yet it fascinated me even more with it's every page. I love how the author started with counting the days before "it" happened. And showed the devastating aftermath in a whole new chapter. Truly not the average order of a book that you will often find in your life.

One of the things I like the most is the how the thought of religion is expressed in this book. How it is possible that religions are there because people are afraid of the dark after death, and choose to create a story to relieve themselves. This was somehow, haunting me for a while. And it struck me as how accurate it is. And this doesn't judge only one religion but explicitly all of them. And it makes sense.

And I felt with Miles all along the "before" events of this book. I told you how heartbreaking it was for me to read this book and I will tell you once again. This is for a young love that stings so sharply, that you are unable to surrender. For a love that doesn't ask for anything else but a sheer closeness of the other being. For the soft desires, the longings, and the loss.

I am not going to spoil this story as my sister did for me. Even the summary of the book wouldn't give you a little clue of what awaits you inside this book. But if you love yourself a unique love story and some food for thoughts, then this book is definitely for you.

2. Norwegian Wood

(Haruki Murakami)

Another finding through a good friend (seriously, bless those friends who have a nice collection of books and are willing to lend them). "I haven't finished this book yet, so tell me how it is." He said as I packed this little-sized book inside my bag. Actually, I already discovered the existence of this novel some years before I actually hold it in my hands. Scrolling through goodreads.com at that time, I already thought that this book might be a nice read. And little did I know that it would be hard to read at the same time.

Generally, this novel falls into the erotic category. But it does have a plot, which revolves around a heavy topic; suicide. It's always hard to talk about this.. for you never really know how suicidal people struggle with life. But this book gives you kind of an insight.

And I have loved the delicate way of how the story is delivered to the reader. Slow, beautiful, sometimes you forgot that grim things are waiting for you in the next page. I also find that the erotic part is pretty well-written, even when it could confuse you at some parts (heck if you had loved to read fanfictions, you know how erotic things/smuts/whatever are often written in such a cheap way).

The main point of the story remains clear throughout the book: The relationship of Toru Watanabe with Naoko, that is tied by the tragic death (suicide) of Kizuki, their best friend (and Naoko's lover). This book shows the struggle to overcome a great loss and the devastating grief that follows and loving someone unconditionally, in spite of how broken this person is. In the end, all you ever want is to fix the person you love and live a simple life together.

It took me some time to read this book. Almost one winter long that way back in 2016. And I have to say that I ended up adoring this book more than I thought I would. Definitely, a must read.

3. Lolita

(Vladimir Nabokov)

Alright, let me take a deep breath... this is by far the HARDEST book to read. All for the way it was written, the level of English (and French!!) that you have to master, and of course, the heavy topic about the abuse of an underage girl. I needed months to finish this book, and I am sure that I missed a lot of details for the lack of my sophisticated English vocabulary. However, the complicated way to describe things in every sentence of this story is at the same time also the charm that makes the whole book such a poetry.

Right from the first pages, you will already start to question everything. With every turn of a page, there will be more and more questions. You will gasp, hold your breath, widen your eyes, and would share the same opinion on the review of this book that you could see on the cover; feeling ravished. I must say sometimes it gets boring and in my head, I'd say something like "c'mon Humbert. I don't need this information. So what happens next?" But then some pages would make you jolt and force you to read more than what you planned before.

Overall, this book is dark and hard to read. And this darkness lingers even after your fingers close the page. After finishing the book, I directly went to Goodreads to read the discussions about this book to ease the aftertaste.

And The Poetry

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